I love thee and I dont want to lose you

Glasses - H&M, Jacket - courtesy of Sheinside, tshirt - Gina Tricot, Belt - Beyond Retro, Shorts - courtesy of oasap.com

Hello my belles, hello my dear blog. A couple of days ago I received the results of the pap test that I did a couple of weeks ago = (. And unfortunately for me the test was positive, they found some cell changes on the cervix canal. I still cannot tell you for sure, what it is and if it can turn into cancer. Now, they told me that I shouldn’t worry and that this abnormality might go away and that is very common, and that I should be glad that they caught it early.. All this, calms my nerves, but at the same time I’m still very concern.

I’m crossing my fingers and I hope that my body can fight this…( I don’t want an  operation, I don’t want to go trough this , I just  hate hospitals so so so much, I don’t wanna be part of this) In a couple of weeks they are going to do the test again to see if everything has gone back to normal. What I don’t get is why I need to wait. Why can’t they just do something about these changes NOW, Oh I wish they could!… Why do I need to wait and see if the problem heals by it self? And what if it doesn’t go away… and what if the next result shows that they found cancer. I hate the fact that they try to calm me down by telling me that is normal… Almost like saying that getting cancer is normal? Or am I exaggerating… I do understand that it’s normal to get cancer, but still… 

Even though this is “just an abnormality”  and that they caught early, all I can ask  myself is why Me? I don’t want to have cell changes in my body, I don’t want to have to worry about abnormalities that might or may not evolve into a monster. Im 23 years old and I have barely done anything with my short live,  and its not fair that I need to worry about cancer NOW…. On the other hand I do think I’ve done a lot, but there is so much more I wanna do… But Im not going to stress myself over this  ( I promise) And I’m hopeful and I  just hope, hope that this abnormality goes away… 

Things you should know:

·      A pap test is a screening used to detect potentially pre-cancerous and cancerous process in the cervix canal

·      Cell changes are common, and in some cases they turn in to cancer, if they are detected early the are treated with a “simple operation”

·      You should start thinking about getting the pap test, once you hit your 20’s and after that you should do it once every 3 or 6 years depending on your result history – in my case if everything goes fine, I will be doing it every 6 months, and after that every 3 years. (Don’t ignore this test) it’s as important as a mammogram.

·      In some countries like in Sweden , they automatically call you in when you are 23. I heard that in Great Britain you can do it when you are 21

·      There is a vaccine that can prevent this, so do what it is necessary to take it…

Now lets talk about something a little bit more cheerful…I wasnt going to post this post together with these photos, but at the last moment I changed my mind... I look so happy and almost careless, even though Im very concern... So what Im trying to do is to be positive... These pictures will turn this negative post in to a positive one =)

PS. : I applied for some master programs and I m so exited about this, so let just hope I get in, and  lets hope that the my body can fight this abnormality without any complications