Personal Style and lifestyle by Amanda C.Watson

Monday, July 30, 2012

From January to December, do you wanna be a member?

Sorry for being away so long... I've been so busy with so much but I really dont wanna go into details... or maybe I should? hmmm .... 
I was going to blog the other day but I felt like it wasnt a great idea... cuz I basically wanted to rant and just like write about all the things that were bothering me that day... But I felt like, so weird about it, I know that one of you left a comment saying that they felt like it was refreshing to read about "real stuff" and like real issues... My intention with this blog from the beginning was to write about "real stuff" but I also wanted to do the things that I do today with the blog....
If I was completely anonymous, like I was in the beginning, I would totally let it all out ( I wonder if this is my excuse)...I know this sounds cheesy, but I really wanna help people that are/have been in this situation, but how can I help others, when Im still dealing with all this ?
But I feel like I can't let it all go and at the same I feel like the only thing that is going to help is to let it all out...
I was talking to this girl I met at work, she and I share a similar past... and she said that the only thing that helped her was to let it all out...she faced that one person that was/ but still is haunting her life and she feels stronger... but its all a process...
The problem with me is that I totally suppressed all my memories, all emotions from that period and now that Im older everything is coming back and its affecting the life that I live today... I thought i was going to be able to suppressed till the end... But I guess not..
Im so affected by it that I just can't, move on with my life... I feel stuck!
Sometimes I feel like it was just a dream , but when it hits me hard, I know it wasn't a dream because it wasn't...
Its amazing how things in your like can shape you into the person you eventually become...
and its amazing how some of us cope with stuff from our past...some us do good, some us do bad, and then there are people like me....
I m basically tired of suppressing it and I feel that I want to let it out and just be done with it... so I can start leaving my life without even thinking about it for a second... But I just keep coming up with  excuses, and feel like Im ready but at the same time I don't feel like 'm ready to do it... Maybe this will be the year I deal with all the stuff from the past--- But ever since I was 21 I've been thinking about doing it...today Im 24 and I still haven't...you guys get Im talking about counseling?... omg this is the first time I actually said it and write it as well (could this be the first time I really meant it)... I really wanna do it... but it really scares me... how can I take the first step?  But I think Im getting closer and closer
You know some of you were right, my last post was basically about me and some of my issues...
For some reason, I feel like talking about yourself in third person makes you see things clearer... 
Alright, Im going to stop here before I get more emotional...  and will talk to you later =) 

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Focus on how far you've come, rather than how far you have left to go

I wanna tell you about this girl I know... Oh I feel like I know her so well... I admire her, and I even adore her... She makes me wanna work harder, she is an inspiration to me ... Gosh she is so smart and she has accomplished so much in her short life...But there is something about her, that makes me wonder...  Sometimes she is like an open book and she shares things with you... but sometimes she just shots down, she hides herself from the world... and she has her guard up all the time...it almost like she is defending her sadness, defending the cause of her sadness... Oh just love it when she is happy, I love it when she smiles... But when she is down, she is down and she is not the best person to have around... I hate it when she closes herself... I hate it when she is not present...I wish I could wake her up when she is down...Because sometimes I m afraid that Im going to lose her... I hope she doesnt give up...She is such a good girl, it would be a shame if she gave up now...

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Friday, July 13, 2012

Dimentica il passato


creepers:sheinside, tshirt sheinside, shirt gina tricot, shorts beyond retro, arm candy oasap,cubus & H&M
I've been obsessing over these shoes for months and months.... And I though I would never get them but one day last month, I just said to myself: what the hell are u waiting for?  and bang! I decided to get them... Plus I got a pretty good deal/discount on them so it was perfect.... Oh gosh I waited so long for these shoes to come and I was so worried cuz I had a feeling that they would not fit cuz I got a smaller size... But they did... they fit perfectly so Im glad I went down a size... I literately took these pictures the same day they arrived and I was so exited that I didnt even care how my hair looked, so please ignore that sad hair bun =)... Im so in love with these shoes hehe =)

And before I go, here is this... just because, Im listening to it right now :

Ripenserai agli angeli
Al caffè caldo svegliandoti
Mentre passa distratta la notizia di noi due
Dicono che mi servirà
Se non uccide fortifica
Mentre passa distratta la tua voce alla tv
Tra la radio e il telefono risuonerà il tuo addio

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besos y abrazos =) 


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Saturday, July 7, 2012

All June I bound the rose in sheaves, Now, rose by rose, I strip the leaves


What would you attempt to do 
If you knew you could not fail? 

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Check out the dress that Im wearing here: http://www.oasap.com/dresses/9639-flower-print-sleeveless-dress-with-mini-length.html
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Monday, July 2, 2012

I wiill see you again by the riverside...

River Island, beyond retro
Debe ser el perfume que usas 
 O el agua con la que te bañas
  Pero cada cosita que haces 
A mí me parece una hazaña
 
Me besaste esa noche
  Cual si fuera el unico día de tu boca  
Cada vez que  me acuerdo  
Yo siento en mi pecho el peso de una roca
 
Son tus ojos marrones  
Con esa veta verdosa 
Es tu cara de niño  
Y esa risa nerviosa
 

Por el puro placer de flotar 
Ahora si me llevó la corriente  
Ya no puedo dormir ni comer 
 Como lo hace la gente decente   

Tu recuerdo ha quedado
Así como un broche prendido a mi almohada 
Y tú en cambio que tienes memoria de pez 
No te acuerdas de nada
 
Son tus manos de hombre 
El olor de tu espalda  
Lo que no tiene nombre  
Lo logró tu mirada
 

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